Episode Transcript
[00:00:10] Speaker A: Well, greetings, greetings. Greetings, everyone. This is your boy, Ig, coach Green. Coach Ig Zay. Isaiah Green. I go by many different names, but I'm just excited today that you are tuned in to the transition podcast, where we are here to discuss and highlight the journeys of those who have already transitioned out of sports. And really, the goal is to prepare athletes for their transition for life after sports. We want athletes, current athletes, to have a successful, prosperous, hopefully, like seamless, as seamless as possible transition as they journey to life after sports. But not only that, the goal is to highlight the conversation around the transition. I've played sports for about 20 years and no one talked about the transition until this day. The transition for athletes coming out of sports is still not talked about enough, in my opinion. So the goal is to create space, to create conversation, highlight those who have been through it, and hopefully impact generations for those to come, and inspire greatness for those who are either in it now or already out of it. So today I'm excited to have my first guest, my friend, Marty Reed. Love, Marty Reed love, Marty Reed love, Marty Reed love is a newlywed shout out. Tip my hat to you and your family.
I'm excited to have you on. I'm excited to have you on. Can I brag on you real quick?
[00:01:58] Speaker B: Oh, goodness.
[00:01:59] Speaker A: I'm going to just brag on you real quick.
I will brag on you real quick. So, I've known Marty for almost ten years now. I think I've known you for quite some time.
And honestly, Marty, you are one of the sharpest tools in the shed.
You are just a joy to be around. You're a pleasure to have conversation with.
You are one who continues to bring the best out of people.
Every conversation we've had, you've always just knew how to bring the best out of me, challenged the way I thought, helped me think differently, coached me through some things.
You have just been an amazing friend. And not only that, but clearly an amazing athlete.
Marty was a three sport athlete in high school, am I right?
So that's do it all. Only did two. So we got to tip your hat to that. Not only that, UCLA graduate won a national championship in 2010, right?
We'll definitely talk about that. A national championship. We're not talking about like a divisional championship. We talk a national championship in softball in 2010.
An author of a book.
Come on now. Like you wrote your own book. Let's talk about it. I'm excited to talk about this book, utility player life. I'm excited to get through that I want you to talk about that a little later. But you have done so much. And your current title, my notes, it says you're a director of national partnerships and Di programming with the positive coaching alliance. Did I get that?
Awesome. Awesome. Well, Marty, I'm glad to have you. That's just a little bit. I'm sure the list goes on. The list goes on. But I'm excited to have you. I'm excited to talk more about the transition, what you're doing to support athletes in their transition, and let's get right into it.
[00:04:00] Speaker B: Sounds good. Thank you for having me. Thank you for allowing me to share this space with you, Zay. The feeling is mutual. I always say iron sharpens iron, and you are one of those people that really makes me better as well. So I'm very excited about this conversation. So let's get in it.
[00:04:15] Speaker A: Let's get in it. Let's get it. All right, so let's see what we're going to talk about first. We got some questions here.
We'll do all the editing, so we'll be good.
Let's talk a little bit about your sports background.
When we're talking about the transition a lot of times, and you talk about it in your book, the utility player life, you talk about it in your book, how we can get our identity wrapped up in sports because we've done it for so long. And I played football for about 20 years. So let's talk a little bit about your sports career, your background. How did you get into it, how long you played? Let's just start there.
[00:04:56] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, I grew up at the baseball field. I'm the descendant of just a sports family. My dad played professional baseball. He played in the minor, so he was very intense sports dad. My brother played in college as well, so I was always at the field growing up, playing sports. I always say I played everything that involved land and not water. I was running track, basketball, volleyball, softball. Softball was my main sport.
And to be honest, I probably enjoyed volleyball more than softball. But I was just the best at softball and knew that's where my future was at a young age when I was already getting looked at by schools and stuff when I was in high school, so knew that that would be something I would pursue beyond my high school sports journey, even though I was a multi sport athlete. But I do not regret playing multiple sports because it allowed me to get that mental break from the one that I took so serious and spent that time becoming elite in. And also that instant gratification that I felt in volleyball, different softballs. Oh, you might be sitting around waiting for your next at bat, right? Thinking about why you didn't swing at that pitch on the last batter. There's just little things that the sport is different, but I love it. It is a game of failure, how to bounce back from failure, because we fail more often than we succeed in the sport of baseball and softball. So I just attribute a lot of the way that I move today and the things that I do in my life now and my mindset to my experience playing sports and a lot of the life skills and life lessons that I learned.
Just pursuing mastery, having a growth mindset, working with teammates, fall in love with the game, with some of your best friends. Those are the moments that I miss the most.
But I wouldn't trade it for the world. That's why I love working with athletes. I love working with coaches because we speak that mutual language and just understanding how to work hard and over time see results.
And not every day is going to look the same. Not every day you're going to feel your best or you're 100%, but just continue to go forward and stay committed to that process.
It's something that I still use daily that's powerful.
[00:07:30] Speaker A: I mean, there's so many gems that you just tapped into right now. I think the first one that comes to mind for me, you said softball is a game of failure.
Now, I don't know any athlete that wants to play a game of mean. That's just wild to think not. I don't have a lot of knowledge about baseball, softball in general, but I just recently learned, I will say I'm a Dodger fan, though, because I am an, you know, I do believe in that.
I will, I will say recently I learned, like, I use this phrase, it's the batting percentages, like zero to 1000. Right, right. And so you see things on TV or you see stats where some really good hitter is batting maybe like 400, 500 or something. Is that good?
[00:08:33] Speaker B: If you're batting 400, 500, you're in the hall of Fame. You're in the hall of Fame with those numbers.
[00:08:40] Speaker A: Okay, so let's make this connection here.
[00:08:43] Speaker B: That's high.
[00:08:44] Speaker A: Okay, so what am I even talking about right now? I don't even know what I'm talking about. Batting 1000, softball being a game of failure.
Let's dive in a little. Tell me a little bit about that.
[00:08:57] Speaker B: Yeah, so if we want to go by stats, my dad used to say three times out of ten, if you get up and get a hit, three out of ten, you're considered MVP status, like batting 333 and up. Right? So that's wild to think about. Like, knowing that out of the ten times I come up to bat, I might only be successful, quote unquote, from a scoreboard standpoint. Three of those ten times on average, and I'm doing well in my sport.
So having to be able to manage the emotions with that. I'm talking about the elite level. When I was young and playing wreck ball, I'm batting 700, I'm hitting all the time. But when you're now playing against other people that are also really good, those averages are going to naturally go down.
So you see that, or you see, like, pitchers who I worked with, a sports psychologist when I was in college named Ken Raviza, and he talked to me about the amount of times pitchers have their a game versus their b game versus their c game. And your a game is when you're just in the zone, right? Everything looks slower for you. You're just like, oh, my gosh, I can do anything right now. Nobody can stop me. Your b game is like, you feel good, not great.
And then your c game is like, don't throw the ball my way.
I'm not at it. I don't have it today. Right? So we all had those three different games, and he was like, how often do you think you're in your a game versus your b game versus your c game? A major league pitcher might go out there ten times, and three out of those ten have their a game, and more likely like five or six times have their b game, and then maybe two, three times have their c game. So it's like even. No matter what game you have that day, you're still showing up, you're still committed to the process of giving everything you got, no matter what game you have right now, that's what separates those elite players from the ones that just tap out or not want to continue.
[00:11:11] Speaker A: That's so good, especially for someone like myself and those of us who are tuning in, who have sort of this perfectionist mentality, right?
If you're not batting 1000, then what are we doing, right? Especially for an athlete who played at the highest level, went through collegiate ball and I had a coach, if I'm being transparent, where we would actually watch film, and as we were watching film, we spent so much time on analyzing every little step, right? We would look at every single step we took, whether it was a false step, whether it was a good step.
My coach would literally pause during, look where your foot is, and so what it did for me is it created this mindset of I can't mess up.
I can't make a false step, because if I make one false step, then everything is almost ruined, right? And so this perfectionist mentality started to grow over time to where I started to believe in my mind, I need to bat 1000 every time I go up to the plate. And if I'm not batting 1000, we out of here next match. And that's a lot of pressure.
[00:12:38] Speaker B: 100%.
That's a lot of athletes deal with that, especially when we talk about the transition in that space of doing something new or feeling like you have to start over again, you do put a lot of pressure on yourself to be good at it, to be elite at it. You don't want to fail. You want to feel good or creative or motivated before stepping forward. So it tends to leave us in a space of just like kind of waiting for that creativity, waiting for. I need to know exactly what I need to do next. I need to have some type of motivation before I can move forward because I don't want to look stupid or foolish, like, I don't want to mess up. I do things and I do things well. I'm used to being very good when I put myself into something, right? And I'm like, man, the faster we can learn how to just tap into that courage over confidence, like just being able to take a step forward, being able to take action, even if it's messy, right? Because then otherwise, if we don't move forward, we'll just keep waiting and waiting and waiting until we feel like we're ready. And you might not ever feel like you're ready before you start, right?
[00:13:51] Speaker A: Absolutely. And listen, this podcast is a testament to that. We had that conversation. We had this conversation right before we hit record.
You said something, courage before confidence. So when we're talking about, and I love how you tied it back into that transition because that was my transition experience. And I'm sure there are a lot of athletes or former athletes who went through this transition of, I've played at the highest level, I've done things at such a high level. I'm used to aiming to bat 1000, and now I'm exiting out of a sport or a life that I've known for 20 plus years, 1520 years now, who am I? What do I do? What are the skills that I bring to the table? Because a lot of what I did was on the field. Now we're talking about an off the field work. Now we're talking about an off the field creativity and off the field passion and off the field contribution. Right? And there's this transition period, and I call the transition the point when athletics ends to where whenever that new thing begins. And there's this transition where you have to wrestle with courage over confidence. Right?
When you talk about utilizing or going through this process in your mind, in that transition of courage over confidence, how can we teach that to athletes coming up after us?
[00:15:29] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, that's so hard, that transition period, because you're going to be uncomfortable.
It's so uncomfortable. But you got to lean into that uncomfortability, right, and just have to accept the fact that this is not going to be comfortable for me. I'm not going to constantly feel good or knowing like I know what I'm doing. But that doesn't mean that you can't take steps forward. That doesn't mean that you're not going to get there eventually. Let's think about in our sport, how long did it take us to be an elite athlete, right? It wasn't like overnight. So to expect us to jump into this new transition and be like, good to go right away, that's just naive, right? So there's a process with this. So being, I'd say number one is having grace with yourself, knowing that this is a process and it's okay to not feel good. Right?
And then I think when you're starting to navigate in that transition, your support system around you is vital. It is vital to tap into people that have already gone through it, that have done it before, that you can ask questions, pick their brain. You don't have to do it alone. You creating this podcast right now is a perfect place for somebody to start. It's like, how do I even begin this process?
One day at a time. Just like you began the process of becoming an athlete, it started with one day at a time. So I will say that support system is really important. And it's not just like, oh, let me network and find people. And that's important. But then it's also like, how are you feeding your mind in this process? What things are you reading? What are you watching? What are you listening to? All of that is helping you become or get to the next step, get to the next place. So I would encourage that athlete going through that transition, number one, to start with that grace and then start building their mindset up with being prepared to just handle that uncertainty as they're going through the process. And then we're tapping into our network, our support system, surrounding ourselves with people who have done it already and can tell you how they did it. I think that's probably the biggest thing that helped me from a tangible standpoint. Like, what did you physically do? I started calling potential mentors and asking them if I could sit down for coffee and pick their brain on what they're up to now and how they got started. What do they like about it? What do they don't? Because I didn't know what I wanted to do after. Okay, you talked to me about softball. My IQ was high. I can tell you the ins and outs of the game, but you talk to me about what I'm going to do with my life now.
I don't know what I'm talking about. Right. So I needed to take some time learning from others. Obviously, experience is a fast way to learn, like trial and error. But in this transition period, that's the one thing that we don't necessarily have when it comes to the professional world. So what's the second fastest way to learn from other people's experience?
Sit down with your former professors, their friends, your teammates, parents, and just asking those questions. Maybe asking them if you can shadow them for a day and learn a little bit about what they're up to and then not being afraid to be a beginner in it and being like a sponge. You can't walk into the space and think like, I'm all that. I got it going on.
They're lucky to have me here. No, you have to be humble and be very grateful. Lead with that gratefulness. To be in that presence, to be able to learn from them and ask those questions humbly and be like, I'm looking to learn and I feel like we can learn from anybody. If you're open minded, even if you're like, I never want to do this job, but I'm still learning something from this person.
You never know until you actually get in and see it for yourself.
[00:19:31] Speaker A: That's really good. That's really good. I think humility is definitely a key part to that transition.
Just looking back on my own transition, there was this mindset that I had, right, that I expected a lot of myself.
Not only did I expect a lot from myself, I also felt like the world expected a lot from me. Right. I used to always tell myself, or I used to say this to myself when you talk about changing the mindset and shifting the mindset and leaning into your support systems and or reaching out to professionals who may have the tools to be able to support you through this. My first time in therapy was during my transition, because I definitely needed some support and someone who had professional experience to help shift my mind.
But there was this mindset that I held on to that because I reached the pinnacle of football. We're talking about the national football League, where only a small, less than 1% of athletes, of collegiate athletes, literally less than 1%, are attaining and reaching these heights. And by the grace of God and by the work and the support and the dedication and the faith, I was able to say that I did that. And that was the goal for 20 years. You know what I mean? And so there was this expectation or this thought that I felt other people expected me to be great at everything that I did.
Like, there was this thought that other people expected me to bat 1000.
And if I didn't show up in a way that I was batting 1000, then I felt that I was less than. I felt like I was inadequate. I felt like I had to put this mask on and make people think I had it all together. When the reality was I was afraid. I didn't know who I was, I didn't know what I wanted to do. But there was this false sense of reality of this person expects that of me. And so how do I show up to the world, giving off this Persona that, hey, I know what I'm doing? In reality, I have no damn clue what I'm doing? And that became really hard. That became really hard and what it did. When we're talking about the transition, and I'm curious if a lot of other athletes who have been through this transition may have experienced the same mindset or the same expectation of, you have to be the best at everything that you do. And if you're not, then if you're not batting 1000, if you're batting 333, then you're less than. Right? Or you're not that good, right?
[00:22:39] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:22:40] Speaker A: And so I really had to just kind of go through this process and this book. I wish I would have got this book sooner.
I wish I would have got this book sooner because, or let me say this, I wish I would have read it sooner. I wish I would have read it sooner, because there's a lot of keys when we're talking about the transition, about that humility, is you don't have to have it all together.
You don't have to bat a thousand. And that's okay.
And that is okay. So one of the things I want to ask you, though, Marty, as we move through this, when sports ends, when sports ends, there's a track.
Let me take a step back. I want to go to the NFL. That's the goal. Eight years old, I want to play in the NFL, by the way, play with the Pittsburgh Steelers under the great Mike Tomlin. I played with some hall of Famers, Troy Palomalu, Ike Taylor, Ryan Clark, Antonio Brown, Ben Roethlisberger, one of my best friends, Robert Golden.
I was able to play with some of the best. Some of the best, which was just a joy. But growing up, I want to do that. And so everything is sort of. There's a system that's tailored for you in order to achieve that goal, right? There's no way that you're not going to play football and not go to school, and there's no way that you're not going to school. So in order to get to this pinnacle, you have to go to school, you have to play ball, right? So there's a system already in place. So this thing is already in alignment for you now. When it ended, one thing that I noticed, the world is now your canvas.
The world has opened up tremendously. You can do anything you want to do.
That was scary as hell.
That was scary.
So when you're talking about the transition, how do athletes or how do individuals, especially those coming up after us with this, there may be a fear and or excitement. It can go either way.
Like, damn, what do I do? How did you get to a point to where you're like, I think I want to try this, or I may be good at this?
What was your path?
[00:25:07] Speaker B: There's so many things I want to say. Okay, number one, I will acknowledge the fact that it's different for girls because there's not many opportunities for us to pursue our sport at level beyond collegiate. They even took softball at the Olympics when I was. That was my goal as a child. It's back. We got it back. It's in the Olympics now. But there wasn't a way for me to make the type of living I wanted to make in my sport. So I was forced to start thinking sooner, probably, than some of my male counterpart friends who were pursuing the NFL or the NBA or some other big leagues that had those opportunities. So I just wanted to acknowledge that piece.
So I did get to thinking my mind about what am I going to do next sooner than a lot of my male friends while I was still in college.
And I remember also having some of the similar feelings that you're talking about, like knowing I want to be great at whatever it is I'm doing and feeling like everyone's expecting greatness. From me, because I've been hidden it out the park. I've been doing this, I've been doing that championship. I got to keep.
I was actually being interviewed after I won the championship, and they asked me, okay, so what's your next national championship? And I just graduated from UCLA, and I was know, like, what are you going to do next to top? That is pretty much what they were asking. And I didn't know how to answer that. That just stumbled me so much. And I think a lot of athletes put that pressure on themselves. I got to have my next championship. What is that going to look like? What is it going to be?
And that's another thing.
Being able to release those expectations is a huge step in this transition process. And being able to understand that your definition of success can look different.
Batting 1000 can look different. Now. It doesn't have to look a certain way. It doesn't have to be because you're trying to please somebody else. It's like, well, today my batting 1000 is me connecting with three new people in different industries I've never thought about before. Like just kind of moving that goalpost into some tangible step that was big for me. If I have the blueprint, I know I'm good at following steps, right? I've been programmed, like, this is how it works as an athlete. I'm programmed to follow the steps, do the process, and show up, right? So if I find the right way to show up daily, then we can crack this, right? So I was like, what habits do I need to develop that's going to make me be what I think is successful in life after sports, right? And I will admit in all, full transparency, even though I was prepared more than some of my athlete friends, the path that I started on right after college is something that ended up I was in a career field that I hated. I was miserable. It's like you might start down a path and be like, up pivot like, this ain't it?
I was like, oh, my gosh. I started working in real estate, in commercial real estate, because I was very money hungry, not going to lie. I was like, I want to be making six figures in the next twelve months, putting those huge expectations on myself, and started working at one of the largest commercial real estate brokerages in the country, which that was a status symbol right there.
And then they had this thing called the Pace Setter award with new hires. If you make X amount, like 200 something calls a week for the first six months on the job, get three listings. There was like a list of things that you had to do to win pay setter award. And obviously I go, okay, that's the next goal. I'm going to win pay setter award.
Smiling, just dialing down.
But I found myself in a position where I was slowly dying inside because I was doing something that, yes, I was good at.
I had the skill sets to do it, like, do something over and over and over and over again till you get the results. Like, as an athlete, we're programmed to do that, but I was just helping rich people get richer. I wasn't really using the gifts that God gave me to really make an impact on the world. And I was like, man, when I think about this, and I talk about this in the book, it's called career Capital. Listen, it's different than money, right? So when I came out of college, I was focused on the money.
[00:30:00] Speaker A: That's the page we were getting ready to talk about.
[00:30:07] Speaker B: And I learned this from one of my mentors. They were like, there's three things that have been shown and proven by psychologists that equates to more happiness in your life when it comes to your career. And the first one was like, your impact or feeling a sense of purpose in what you're doing. Like, it's leaving some type of impact on the world or making the world a better place, doing something that you feel like there's a purpose driven in your work. Right. The second thing was autonomy. So you have the freedom to maybe work where you want, with whom you want, how you want. That autonomy will equate to more happiness in your work. And then the third thing was specialization, like a unique skill set that you bring to the team that you do better than others.
That sense of, like, I'm really good at this and the team needs me for this, right? I can specialize in this skill set.
[00:31:00] Speaker A: That's good.
[00:31:00] Speaker B: So now when I started to look at different opportunities, I started to say, okay, what has the most career capital, not what's going to pay me the most. Where can I find the most impact? Autonomy and specialization. Because I know I'm going to be happy when it comes to doing this work because I tried the money route first, and that left me miserable, empty, feeling broken inside.
So sometimes you do have to just, trial and error, get out there, go for it. I don't regret doing it because that was a life lesson I needed to learn.
But I just want athletes to understand, like, you might not get it right right away, and that's okay. You can constantly reinvent yourself. You can constantly pivot, you can constantly adjust and adapt. That's really what utility player is about, not being just one thing sitting in one box.
We play multiple roles. Utility player in sports, you play multiple positions, right? So how can you adjust and adapt in life knowing that things are going to change, the economy is going to change, all this stuff. So being able to look at that and have the courage to start over, I think that's a big deal, too.
[00:32:20] Speaker A: Man.
Listen, if you haven't got the book, you got to get the book. The utility player life. I kid you not, Marty.
That is literally the page that I wanted to talk about because I.
Yes, way literally. We were talking about that career. Career capital is basically made up of three things and more of these three things you have in your career, the higher your career capital goes. Purpose and meaning, autonomy and specialization, like key.
And they're all highlighted. These were bars. These were bars.
One. I want to say thank you because your book is so impactful.
Your book has been impactful. It is impactful. It's an easy read, but it's such a read that is straight to the point. And it's real. And it's so real, especially for those of us who are either going through the transition or even have gone through the transition. And I suggest folks that are preparing for that transition. I mean, to pick that book up because it's a book that prepares, it's a book that equips and it's also a book that sustains, because there are things in here where you're like, hey, these are the habits that you should be creating in order to keep going forward, not just during your transition, but afterwards.
Man, just an amazing book. Amazing book. Really quick. I had a bunch.
We could have went so many different ways with that.
I guess one of the things when you talk about a utility player, what is a utility player?
[00:34:08] Speaker B: Yeah. So I say a person that is prepared to play multiple positions in life, utility player in sports, obviously, you are someone who plays multiple positions. Like when I came to UCLA, I came in as a shortstop, but I played outfield, first base, second base, was able to wherever the coach needed me. And I say we are utility players in life. We're all a family member to someone. We're a friend, we're a student in life. Even after you're done with traditional school, you should still continue to learn and grow.
We're an athlete in life having that competitive mindset and then also living a healthy life.
And then I say, we're a professional life. What do you do to earn a living right what you do to make that impact and career capital. And that last piece is community member. How are you going to give back? How are you going to leave things better than the way you saw it? I have a heart for philanthropy and doing good in the world. So that's really what a utility player is summed up to be. That's what I talk about as a utility player. I'm actually in the process of turning the book into an online course. I know everybody's getting digital these days and everything, but I want to have some practical things at the end of each chapter. There's utility workouts. It's like something that you could do by yourself or with your team or with your teammates to help you take what you learn and put it into action, because I'm big on that. It's like you could read all the books in the world, but if you just sit on that knowledge and don't do anything with it, it's like, what are you doing? Right? So I'm big on what can I do now with this? What can I do tomorrow with this information? So that's what I tried to do when I wrote the book. I was like, what did I need when I was their age, I wrote the book for my former self and just poured my heart and soul into that. And I know for me, I didn't start reading until my senior year of college, reading books outside of what required reading for class or anything like that. I was not into reading. That wasn't something that I enjoyed doing or that wasn't a pastime that I had. And a lot of my friends and teammates also didn't read. So I was like, let me make this short and sweet and get straight to the point.
Maybe break it down with a story so they can really grasp it and really understand it and how to apply it. So that's where that book came from.
And then when I graduated from UCLA, I had a lot of job offers and opportunities because I was going on those informational interviews with mentors and stuff like that. And then people started to. Back then, our form of DM, it was like Facebook messaging. My friends were Facebook messaging me. Like, how did you find a job so quickly? Like, man, how did you get all these opportunities? Like, please, I'm about to graduate soon and I'm terrified. Like, I don't know what to do next after my sport is over. Help me. Help me. I started getting so many messages and that's what encouraged me to write the book. I was like, wow, we need help a lot of people need help with this. So that's where it came from. That's how it came about. That's what it's about and that's how I'm hoping it'll have an impact on.
[00:37:19] Speaker A: Others and it will. It's definitely had an impact on me.
And in football, we call that the impact player, right? We call that utility player, we call that an impact player. Especially those of us who grew up playing Madden. There was always an impact player that had a star, had a star under their name, right? That that player was the one who could do it all, the one who would make the impact of the game when they needed the most. And so when you talk about that utility player, I like to reference that as an impact player.
I want to say thank you. There's a few questions and we're kind of going like ease off into another. There's a few questions that I do want to ask around.
You killing it right now. You killing it right now, Marty. You killing it.
You killing it. I love know there's a side note there when you're talking about how collegiate sports and women, the difference between women and men, I definitely want to dive into that sometime eventually because that's interesting to think about. And I never really thought about it like that in the sense of like I was preparing for my transition because women's sports and there's no equity equality in women and men's sports, so it prepares women and men differently, you know what I mean? And so definitely want to dive into.
[00:38:52] Speaker B: That thinking in my head of the athlete today and some of the other distractions they might have or some of the other issues that we might not have had as much, but they're definitely dealing with it today I would say is like the comparison factor. Like you go on TikTok, you go on this, you go on that, you're constantly comparing yourself to the next person and what they're up to. You feel like their expectations are even higher than what we had on ourselves.
[00:39:21] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:39:21] Speaker B: Because they're seeing everybody's highlight reel, they're seeing everybody's like, you're out here, dang, you're in a visa, you're traveling, you're doing this and that I have to do, you know what I mean? I got to do a big. Because look what they over here doing. And that can get you in another trap. Constantly comparing yourself to the next person.
[00:39:41] Speaker A: Absolutely. So when you're talking about comparison, right. I think there's a couple of different ways.
There's a couple of different ways that went for me, right when I retired, I was making thousands of dollars every couple of weeks. And I had the ability to travel. I had the ability to create these highlight reels in my own personal life that I had not been able to do before. And so once I retired, I was no longer making that money. And there's very few careers at 27, 28, and maybe more. So maybe there's more opportunity now in spaces. But I know when I was coming out, I just felt like there weren't any shoot. There are probably not a lot of opportunities where you can make that much money that quickly.
And I remember thinking to myself, what do I do?
What type of impact do I want to have on the world? And so I moved into a space of giving. Like, I want to be able to serve young men who are growing up without fathers in the household, growing up in the margins when it comes to socially accepted or socially looked at as valuable. And so I started working a group home. I started working in the group home. I started to become a life skills coach for young men that were going through that system. And I was working for $16 an hour.
$16 an hour. I kid you not. I remember having to go in. Like, the only way I would get paid is if I clocked in. And I remember thinking, what the hell is this?
I mean, no disrespect to anybody.
I don't get paid. Driving to work. Like, what is this?
It was so different.
I started to compare my old life to where I was currently, and it was, I'm trying to keep up with my old self. Like, I'm trying to keep up with. I'm trying to keep up with who I was six months ago.
[00:42:17] Speaker B: Talk about it.
[00:42:19] Speaker A: Not just the person on Instagram and the TikTok, because I see they highlight. I was living a damn highlight, and all of a sudden, it was just like, nah, bro, that ain't so. That sense of comparison, I do agree with you. That comparison definitely stifled a lot of the courage for me.
[00:42:46] Speaker B: Right?
[00:42:47] Speaker A: It definitely stifled a lot of the courage for me because it was like, damn, am I worthy? Am I valuable if I'm not living this highlight life? You know what I mean? How am I going to keep up with my old self, let alone keep up with anybody else who may be doing it, who act like they're doing it, you know what I mean?
We talk about that comparison. Yes, I 100% agree. So how do you prepare kids? I call them kids, but dang, some of these college athletes making way more money than me right now.
[00:43:24] Speaker B: It's crazy. Yeah.
[00:43:25] Speaker A: How do you prepare the generations that are coming up with the tools to wrestle or fight against the spirit of comparison?
[00:43:38] Speaker B: That's a good question because I feel like athletes today, like you said, the generation coming up after us, they even have more distractions than we had. I feel like their expectations are even higher than ours because they're seeing on Instagram, you got nil deals, you got all of these other things that you can literally look to your left and right and be like, dang, why don't I have that know? And you're constantly comparing your timeline to somebody else's. I think that's one of the quickest ways to lose focus, lose a sense of self and value.
It steals your joy. It steals your growth. That is so dangerous to fall into that comparison trap. Easier said than done, you know what I mean? It's very hard not to. I can't just sit here and say, if I was an athlete today, I wouldn't be looking to my left and right, but having to remind myself that my timeline is different than this person's timeline. And I think oftentimes we don't consider environment and how much that impacts success and failure. Like, the same person in a completely different environment can have completely different results. You know what I mean?
I think oftentimes we don't see that. We don't see behind the scenes, we don't see the process. We don't see the environment. Even in sports. Imagine you playing for a coach that really knows how to coach you and connect with you, and they bring the best out of you. You go on a different team and under a different coach or a different system, that just doesn't work with your style of play. People think you're a completely different athlete, right? So it's like there's environment that is really important with that. So I would tell those athletes to remind themselves, like, your timeline is different than theirs, especially considering the environment that you're in right now, your season, your time, and if you just stay consistent to the things that you're good at, your strengths, your values, and things like that, focusing on that and not comparing to others because you don't know their story, right? You don't know they have maybe even a parent who has the key to the door that walked them right in there or whatever it might be. We have no idea. So I think that's one thing that we underestimate when we're comparing ourselves to the left and right.
And I would say, just do your best to continue to focus on your timeline and knowing that you'll get there eventually if you just keep showing up and taking it one day at a time and focusing on that process instead of just thinking about the results.
[00:46:22] Speaker A: In the words of Nipsey Hussle, it's a marathon. It's a marathon. It's a marathon.
And the distractions are all around us, the generation coming up after us. They said, I read something not too long ago, that the average time of focus for individual is about attention span is about 8 seconds. Very short. And of course, we're in a digital age where everything has the ability to get your attention right. We're either sending out emails, answering phone calls, sending out texts, ten different computer, laptop open at the same time.
It's the world that we're living in currently. And so when you're talking about staying diligent and training the mind to stay focused on your race one step at a time. And it's not about batting 1000, but it's about showing up every day the best you can, with humility, with courage, that even in the chaos, even in the mess, right? Just putting your best foot forward with the support around you, with the mentors, with the coaching, knowing that eventually, as you continue to walk, if you can't run, walk if you can't walk, but just keep it moving. There's only one rule that I say to my athletes, you don't quit. I don't care what you do, you don't quit. And so as we wrap up this transition podcast, we wrap up this impactful episode, I'm going to ask you one question, two questions.
One, how do you define success?
And then two, if there's any encouragement to athletes who are currently in the transition, what would it be? And the third question, of course, is, those who are going to go through the transition, what would it be? So the first question is, how do you define success?
[00:48:38] Speaker B: I really like John Wooden definition of it, but I'm going to try to make my own.
When I define success, I focus on the things that I can control and feeling a sense of purpose and value in the things that I'm doing and my ability to continue to just get better every day. Knowing that success doesn't have to look, it's not linear, it doesn't have to look the exact same. That's good.
So I think that's how I will wrap it up. If I really tried to narrow down success, that's good.
[00:49:24] Speaker A: My second question is, what word of advice do you have for former athletes that are currently in the transition? Life after sport.
[00:49:37] Speaker B: My advice is to show yourself some grace because it's not easy.
You don't have to have it all figured out today.
And please don't be afraid to ask for help. If you're struggling, whether that's mentally, physically, all the above, it's okay to ask for help and lean on support.
And it's a process. Take it one day at a time.
We don't ever start at the top of the mountain. There's a process and there's levels to it. So enjoy your journey.
[00:50:15] Speaker A: That's good. Last but never the least for those athletes as we want to prepare them for healthy transition for life after sports.
What is a word of encouragement for.
[00:50:26] Speaker B: Them as they're preparing?
Yes, as you're preparing, I'd say surround yourself. I call it building your roster, surrounding yourself with the right people, energy, things that you want in your life. So it's the people you're following on social media, the books that you're reading, the things that you're watching, all have an impact on the person that you're becoming. So as you're preparing for this transition, I would really focus on curating my circle to help my mindset be prepared to manage this because it's not going to be comfortable.
But if you create that support system around you with the right people, you can ask questions or go to when you're feeling lost, that's going to really help you in the long run. And just focus on making the daily small habits and daily little decisions that your future self will thank you for. It's not about making the right decision. Now. Like, man, I need to know exactly what I'm doing today. Let's just move in the right direction. And as we're moving over time, you'll look back and see like, man, I really have made.
[00:51:44] Speaker A: So good. So good. Marty Reed. Love the utility player life right here.
[00:51:50] Speaker B: Thank you.
[00:51:51] Speaker A: Where can people find the book?
[00:51:54] Speaker B: Yes, it's on Amazon. Utility player life. How to purposefully leverage your experience as an athlete to take you where you want to go in life. It's also on my website at book. So I have a lot of schools and teams that tap into it and order it in bulk and give it out to all the athletes. If you want to just buy it individually, website or Amazon.
[00:52:18] Speaker A: Absolutely.
I think I'm going to just give out a few books. How does that sound? I think I'm going to purchase. I want to purchase a few books and I'm going to give them out to a few of our newest subscribers. To the Transition podcast. I think that's going to be a great gift for those who are tuning in.
Marty, I want to say thank you for your time. Thank you for your courage. Thank you for your grace, for your wisdom, for your knowledge, for your obedience to the call that God has put on your life. And you're just real. You know what I mean? You're just a real one.
When you get real ones in your circle, you got to keep real ones in your circle. So thank you for continually pouring into me, pouring into my evolution. Like you said, iron is sharp as iron. And you're a blessing and continue to be a blessing, not only to those who are going through this transition, but I know you'll continue to be a blessing to everything that is attached to you. So bless you.
[00:53:13] Speaker B: Thank you.
[00:53:14] Speaker A: We appreciate you and like subscribe comment we want to hear about your transition. We want to hear about your transition story. We want to hear your experience. We want to hear some of the highs. We want to hear some of the lows. We want to hear how you are able to succeed through the transition. Because guess what? If I'm being honest, some of us don't make it. It can be a challenge and some of us don't make it through this transition. And so we want to be able to equip, we want to be able to inspire. We want to be able to impact. We want to continue to be able to support those who are either going through it, been through it, or getting ready to go through it. So bless you all. We look forward to the next one and more to come. Peace.
